Can someone please give me some advice about what I could tell my friend? It is a really sad situation. Help

My friend is homeless and he is staying in a friends car. He has not eat anything in 2 days. He tells me he is starving. He is in Clinton SC. He recently completed a drug rehab program and was staying in a halfway house but he got laid off his job and he could not pay rent at the halfway house. He wants to come to where I am in Anderson County SC, but the only way he has down here is to walk. I can not drive up and get him. Anyway if he does come down here he has no money, no job, no transportation, no license, and no where to live. I feel bad for him I really do. I have tried to take care of this man before and he did me wrong. I lived with him for 9 years of my life. I do love him but I dont want to let myself get used or be an enabler for him. I want to help but I dont know what to do. He can not come live with me. It is going to be hard for me to transport him around because I have to work a full time job and I have to be at my job. I feel so bad, but at the same time I have to tell myself that this is not my fault. I dont understand why he is so focused on coming back here why is he not trying to find some help in Clinton a food bank or something? I am worried about him eating but I am not going to send him money becuase in my heart I dont feel that is the right thing to do. I love him can someone please guide me through this difficult time and please offer some advice that I could give my friend. He says if he comes down here and stays at Salvation Army then its free for first 3 days then its 70.00 a week. If he cant find a job in 3 days then he will be asking me to pay the 70.00 and I dont think that is right. I love him but I dont want to pay his bills. I just dont understand what he expects of me. He is 33 years old and I have been with him since I was 17 and I am sorry that he did not straighten his self up years ago and I am sorry that he did not think about the future. Please I just need some advice all this is tearing my heart out and I dont know what to do. Can someone please give me some advice about what I could tell my friend? It is a really sad situation. Help
you are right by not allowing him to live with you, while you take care of his responsabilities. he needs to learn how to set his own priorities and take care of himself. as far as helping him, you could get him a number to social services. he will be able to get emergency assistance the day he walks in if he really is homeless. they will find him a shelter and provide him with food and clothes if he needs it. im not sure how the system works from state to state, but most of the time they will give him a deadline to get a job to be able to care for himself. it would probably be like 3-4 weeks. during that time, he will be able to stay at a shelter and have food and clothing, while he looks for a job and starts working. once he has found a secure job, they may also have funding to help him with an emergency first months rent/ security deposit, so that he can get into his own place. he will still be able to recieve food assistance even with a job, so the money he makes can go towards bills instead of having to pay for food too.


if you think you want to help him out more, maybe you could help him build a stable foundation for himself, but give him a deadline and stick to it! tell him he is welcome to stay with you free of charge for, say 3-4 days while he looks for a job. once he's found one have him give you half of what he is making to help you out with your bills, while he puts away the other half and saves up to be able to get his own place in a month or two. each day that goes by, chip away the block little by little, until he is able to go out and make it on his own. but dont fold on him and let him get away with anything else. if he doesnt find a job within a reasonable amount of time, and/or doesnt help you pay your bills with some of the money he is making, then send him back out on his way. dont take any excuses. the more you give in, the more he will probably take. make him learn some hardship by making a plan and sticking to it. hopefully, for his and your sake, he will be able to get back on his feet and get his life back on track. if you decide to do something like this, make sure you lay out the rules before you try helping him at all, and dont feel bad if it doesnt work and you have to kick him out.Can someone please give me some advice about what I could tell my friend? It is a really sad situation. Help
might wanna call the police
This is a hard and painful situation. I would suggest helping your friend find an agency that will help him that is not necessarily in your town. You can't be responsible for him. He made the wrong decisions unfortunately. If you want to help him out, get him some food. Like canned goods etc... Don't give money if you don't feel comfortable. There are no easy answers here. The best thing you can do is steer him towards government agencies or charities that can help.


I know it's hard not to feel bad but you have tried to help this person in the past.
I've never heard of the Salvation Army charging rent. I've never heard of a program for the homeless turning people away from its food sources even if they've run out of beds.





It sounds to me like this guy might be jacking you around. Have him go to the nearest church of any size. They will know how to put him in touch with social services that will see he's got food and shelter. (And they'll probably feed him while they figure that out.)
Im sorry ur in that horrible situation! Iv been in similar situations... but not this extreme.


It seems like you have a good head on ur shoulders... and that you understand that you would be enabling him. My advice would be maybe call the cops on him. Tell them his location... and that he is a bum. I know that sounds harsh!!! really i do, but it would be better than him starving on the street or dieing 4rm drug abuse. Im sure cops do something about bums, even if it is lock up, at least you will know he will be fed...


And you really need to protect yourself! Even though sometimes its hard...
You are right. He cannot come and live with you. You will enable him by solving his problems for him. The first thing he should do is grow up and become responsible for himself. What you should do is seek out resources to help him and allow him to proceed from there.